We're Home!

Believe it or not, we made it all back home alive! The flight home was the longest 10 and 1/2 hours of my life but it's over now and will not happen again for a LONG time...

Sorry Chris' family but you're going to have to visit us for the next 17 years:)  But it was a wonderful trip and great to see you all!

I just blend right in with all the Germans right?

Speaking of Germans, if you've never been to Germany, here's a few different things I noticed while I was there....


Isn't the US supposedly one of the countries with the most unhealthy eating habits?....well if you walked into a Germany grocery store, you would find 3, not 1, not 2, but THREEE candy isles! What would they put in 3 different candy isles? Well, just take every other item from the store and cover it in chocolate and you'll find it there. You name it, they've got it covered in chocolate.  Those darn Germans are still skinny too!

Coffee. Coffee. Coffee. Whenever, wherever, you better be ready to drink it or offer it. Don't even go over there if you don't like the stuff.

Beer. You can buy it anywhere and everywhere and the standard size is .5 liter as opposed to .33 here in the US. And it's cheaper.

If you're a girl, you better find some black leggings EVERYONE is wearing them. If you're a guy, you can wear a scarf without your sexuality being questioned.

Do you recycle? Do you think you've done your part to conserve energy and minimize your global footprint? You don't even know the meaning of recycling until you see the German system! Let me explain this to you as simply as I can, although I don't think I even fully understood it:
3 trash cans. 1 for compost, 1 for recycling ( which means packaging with a specific symbol for recycling on it) and 1 for things that can't be recycled like dirty diapers. Next, you need to separate your paper and your cardboard. Those are recycled individually. For plastic bottles: each have a symbol on them to indicate which type of machine takes them. So, you have to take your plastic bottles back to a store with a machine that collects them one by one. There are different machines for different types and sizes of bottles and each store does not have every type of machine. Same goes for glass bottles. Whew! I can't tell you how many times I was scolded for putting garbage in the wrong spot! Preventing global warming one German at a time!


These are just a few things....I could go on and on....but I'll save those for our next trip which won't be until the girls can buy their own ticket and carry their own bags!

As much as I loved watching all the other babies sleep (and their parents) while I chased mine who were running up and down the isles, poking all the sleeping people, seeing how far they could throw their binkys then crying to have them back, going #2 just as we take off, eating crumbs off the floor, and of course smiling and sitting quietly as soon as the flight attendants walk by so that they comment, "wow, they do so well flying." Also, I'd like to apologize to all the people who sat within five rows of us; I'm sorry you did not get any sleep, thank you for not complaining about us, and I'm pretty sure you all can now recite by heart the entire book, "Brown Bear, Brown Bear, what do you see?" Don't worry we won't be on any of your next flights for a while!

Zwillinge = Twins

In Germany

I knew that it would be tough flying on a plane for 10 hours with a 13-month old on my lap but that was cake compared to baby jetlag....oh man! In the last 8 days, the hours between 1am and 5am local time, have not been used for sleeping...at all...by anyone.... within a 2-block radius.


We're staying in a beautiful apartment that belongs to Chris' brother. Him and his girl friend are the first ones to live in it and have bought all new and very nice furniture, dishes....etc. Oh and it was absolutely spotless when we arrived. It's pretty much the perfect place for my girls to destroy! And they are well on their way to doing so!


We're in the town of Giessen where Chris grew up. The other day we packed up the kids and went downtown to see the Christmas market. Packing up here is a bit different. At home we drive a Toyota Highlander and I have been said to complain a few times that I'm ready for an upgrade to a Sequoia cuz I just don't have enough space sometimes. Well, here is a photo of the car we've been using....I will never complain again!

Cute huh?!

We actually have to load the girls in from the trunk....

Here's some photos from the market and downtown Giessen....

 Yum! One of my favorite things to do here is walk to the bakery. Big surprise:) There is one in every little suburb and people stand in line starting at 5am every morning to get fresh bread for the day! It's always tucked in a little alleyway lined with cobble stone just like in Beauty and the Beast!

NO ONE has a bulky stroller like ours here!

So today at the market I had my first German conversation with a stranger!! Chris had gone off to buy some potatoes so I was alone pushing the girls in the stroller. Some guy and his young daughter came up to the stroller to admire the girls. The dad started talking to me in German and since Chris wasn't there for me to hide behind, I had to woman-up and talk back to him. He said a bunch of things then said the word 'Zwillinge' and looked at me for an answer. Luckily, that is one word I thought to ask Chris about a few days earlier so I recognized that he as asking if they were twins, and so I answered,"ja". Few! Then he starts saying some more things and finishes with the words ein Ei. I remember that from German 101 forever ago! It means 'one egg.'  Because I've had one million conversations with strangers about twins and they always ask the same questions, I knew he was wondering if they were identical. Again I got to answer, 'ja'. Then he mumbled something that sounded like it would be transferred to 'really!?!' So I aswered 'ja' again and he left. Whew! Maybe he has twin hens and was trying to sell me their eggs, I don't know but I survived my first German convo!

 Long day- time for a snooze!

Before I was a mom...

Before I was a mom I swore I would...

Never let my baby have a binky. Why would they need one? If they cried I would just hold them all day.
Be married before I had my second kid.
Never use the TV as a babysitter.
Feed my kids everything organic no matter what the price.
Never give them unhealthy snacks like cherrios just to keep them quiet for a few minutes.
Never get frustrated or angry with them.
Make every activity a learning activity and be constantly singing the ABCs, practicing our numbers, and reading books.
Never be on the computer while they are awake (ha! they're right next to me) or watch tv.
Never give my kids plastic toys or anything that lights up or makes sounds.  Everything will be either wood or homemade fabric toys.
Always keep them clean and well dressed. They would never have boogers hanging from their nose or food on their face. Especially not in public!
Shower (myself) everyday. (I can hear Chris laughing when he reads this one!)
Always go out in public with my hair brushed and never in my pajamas.
Never let my kids cry or throw fits in public.
Never give in to their whining or pleading. No means no. Even at 3 in the morning.
Take my kids outside everyday for a walk or a picnic in the park. We will experience nature everyday no matter how tired I am.
Continue to exercise.
Get up early and have breakfast ready before Chris leaves for work.
Keep my house spick and span! Including corners, baseboards, and window seals.

Ha! Well it's a good thing I didn't sign any contracts about this stuff... It's funny to think I was really determined to make all these things happen. My how my expectations have changed! I think even if I didn't have twins most of these would still be impossible. I love talking to first time pregnant moms about all their expectations and ideas of what motherhood will be like and all the things they will 'never' or 'always' do. I don't discourage any of it because I'm glad no one told me otherwise when I was pregnant either. It was fun to dream:)

Have you ever heard the saying 'Want to make God laugh? Tell him your plans.' Well I'm pretty sure my babies crack up when I tell them about my plans!

On to my list of expectations as the girls grow older...

I will ...
Make sure they do all of their homework before Sunday.
Make every sunday 'Family Day'.
Not let them date until they are 16.
Pack their lunches every morning and never let them have school cafeteria food.
Make them pay for anything extra they want. They will earn their money from lemonade stands and mowing lawns.
See to it that their bed is made every morning before school.
Make dinner every night and we will always sit down together as a family having intelligent conversations.
Make sure they speak at least two different languages.
See to it that they go to Ivy League Schools
Try to remember that some of my expectations might be a bit unrealistic...but never stop dreaming...


Wish me luck!

My Long Lost Independence

I don't know the exact date, time, or where I was when it happened but all of a sudden I'm searching for strangers nearby to open the door for me to fit through with my double stroller. I'm pushing the flight attendant button more than once per flight- I can't get up! That would wake up the babies! I'm making the waitress run circles to help me. My poor boyfriend is forced to come home early from work to hold a baby while I feed and put the other one to sleep.  Random gentlemen are carrying my groceries to my car. I'm in the store with my arms full of babies and my keys slip out of my hands. I look around for someone to pick them up for me.  My friends that come to visit me end up doing dishes and folding laundry instead of exploring the Denver night life.


Wasn't it just yesterday that I was going on a road trip to my hometown from college, stopping at random lakes for a swim, taking detours just because the scenery was prettier that way and sleeping on the side of the road in an old, ratty tent? I didn't need anything from anyone. In fact, I was the one picking up the poor lady's fallen keys or opening the door for the old woman in a wheelchair. I was once that waitress running circles for that mom that never tipped enough to make it worth my time! I used to know everything now I'm calling my mom night and day asking about diaper rashes and ear infections.

Why didn't anyone warn me about this? My bookshelf is stacked with books on pregnancies and raising children- even ones on raising twins. Of course they talk about babies being completely dependent on their parents but not once did I ever read anything about losing my own independence. No one prepared me for this.

Sometimes it takes patience. I have to explain how to do something to another person rather than just doing it myself.  It often takes tolerance. Because I can't do everything myself, I have to accept other peoples ways and methods of doing things. And lastly, it almost always takes swallowing my pride and asking for help.

Often times, after many nights spent in the rocking chair, after picking the thousandth cheerio off my kitchen rug, and after hours of singing my ABCs I feel like I'm in desperate need of a break.  So I take a couple hours to go shopping, have a nap, take myself out to eat or sometimes even just drive around. What's funny is that my breaks are never what I expect them to be. As soon as I get in my car I look in my rear view mirror and there's no chubby grins staring back at me. When I close my eyes for a nap all I see are the two sweetest faces in the world and I can't stop wondering what they're doing. I can hear them laughing and their attempt at chatter. I miss them. A lot. And I usually end up coming home or waking up early just because I miss them. So I think what surprises me most about the loss of my independence is not so much how I'm always needing strangers to help me out, but more so, how I'm as dependent on these non-walking, diaper-filling, unable-to-feed-themselves little creatures as they are on me.

Sometimes being a twin just isn't fair...

The other day Berlynn and I had our own little special moment.  You're probably thinking that most moms and their babies have special moments all the time, and we do but not all to ourselves.  One-on-one alone time with a parent seems to be a rare situation with multiples.  Zuri was extra tired so before Chris left for work, he put her to sleep and Berlynn and I had the house to ourselves.  I nursed Berlynn then we cuddled up on the couch. The sun was shining through the sliding glass doors directly in front of us as we snuggled under my favorite fuzzy blanket.

Berlynn lay on her back on my lap, smiled at me and played with her feet. She was so peaceful.  Normally, the beginning of nap is a struggle so I did not expect Berlynn to fall asleep anytime soon.  She played with my hair and I teased her by pretending to nibble on her fingers. I started to sing to her and she slowly became more and more quiet then eventually dozed off. I began to fall asleep myself.

It felt so good just to be able lay there with Berlynn and hold her while she fell asleep and be able to relax without having to put her in her crib right away.  I'm normally rushing off to put one to sleep so I can get the other asleep.  When they are both asleep that is my "precious time" and the only time I have to get anything done.

I started to get a pang of jealousy towards moms of single babies. They must always be able to hold their babies as they sleep and cuddle them whenever they want. How easy this seems!:) And those babies must get so many more loving touches than mine do.  

Once I put Berlynn in her crib I sat down and wrote this to both of my girls:

Dear baby girl,

Sometimes being a twin isn’t fair.

I’m so sorry I’m not able to hold you as much as most babies are held and that you won’t get as much one-on-one time with me as you should. I want you to know it hurts me to watch you cry and not be able to pick you up. Please understand that I would if I could. You are a rare and unique in that you shared a womb with another life and that other being will probably be your best friend someday.  Please see that when I’m feeding or attending to your sister, I’m always thinking about you and missing you.  Sometimes your sister needs me and it breaks my heart to walk away from you while you’re crying.  You deserve the full attention that most kids receive and I can’t give that to you.  You sometimes look up at me like ‘why are holding her and not me?’ ‘Why did you choose her over me?’ My heart hurts to watch your tiny body sink into the floor with sadness and your cries make me cry. I long to grab you, rock you, and tell you everything is ok.  But I can’t. I must be fair.

I know that as you grow up you’ll come to realize why but right now, your presence in this life has been very short and it’s just not fair that I’m not always able to comfort you. Please remember that while all the other babies are being held more, kissed more, and given more attention, you, my baby girl, are loved as much as any of them. I ‘m not able to give you all the things that a single baby gets but I can love you all the same. And I do so much! So as you begin this journey called life, with another being always by your side, know how much YOU alone, are loved. 

Love,

Mommy